Journal 6 - Group Discussion

March 26^nd 2013

So my chain sister, and very best friend went to our first bdsm discussion in SL. It was very exciting. In fact I feel very wise now that I have been in Gor nearly 9 years. So for this entry I wanted to share some of the questions that were asked with my responses, plus some stuff I might add about it all.

When does a D/s relationship become abusive?

I actually was one of those girls you saw in the store being dragged on a chain. I have had encounters where men and women have messaged me, and asked me why I am allowing this to happen to me. That I must be really weak to allow someone to control me. That the man that owns me simply abuses me by telling me what to do, and punishing me because of it. I have simply told everyone, repeatedly that this is my decision. I give over my submission to them and follow their commands, because deep down in my heart, not only is it who I am, but it is because for my Master I have a deep deep love for him, and want to please him and make him  happy. I have had a Master who abused me once, refused to listen to my safe word, and since I was tied down I had no way of saving myself from him. The point I believe where it truly comes abusive is when the Dominant turns from that loving command, to the side where he/she just refuses to respect you as a submissive, and no longer will respect such limits that you both have agreed upon.

If someone has to have someone else run our lives for us, we must be weak right? Does it show we have no motivation, no reflection?

I was told once, by a Dominant. That as long as the relationship is, Safe, Sane, and Consensual than there is no wrong or right way to do things in the lifestyle. That as long as it works for you both, than no one else can tell you different.  However, being in a D/s relationship to me does not make me weak. I have huge ambition and dreams for my life. My Dominant does indeed encourage me to follow my dreams, and my goals, and ambitions as long as they do not hinder the current agreement between our relationship, and its standards. I of course always ask my Master ahead of time, hoping for his permission, that is my want to do so. It doesnt make me weak to serve another. It shows I am stronger, because I can give up my control to them, and follow their commands to the best of my ability. It takes all my strength as a strong woman, to accept punishments when I have done wrong. I am more a slave than submissive, but we have set our relationship more around Our limits. I say ours, because most people dont understand that Doms also might have limits. My Master of course has no interest in one of my fetishes. I respect that, and as such never ask for him to do it. He of course pushes my mild limits, but has never once crossed a hard limit. So to me, not only does it make me a strong woman to be a submissive/slave. I think it makes the Dominant strong too, not just because they guess this power over us, but because they have to be strong to control that, so it doesnt turn into something abusive.

Now there were more questions asked and answers given but these were just a few that I thought were important. To be honest it feels really good going to these classes even if I already know what they are teaching. Sometimes I never feel like a slave anymore. It is really hard for me to keep in this mode. I really wish I could be on my knees 24 hours a day serving my Master, but in that world it is perfect. Here in reality I have responsibilities. One day though, I will get that fire so much in my belly it will consume me.