“Ok, so my sister and I are very close. We discuss everything from work, family, and our sexual preferences. We got onto the topic of BDSM. She herself is very dominating and I am quite the opposite. Her question was to me: "Why do you like serving a Master? What could you possibly get from it?". It took me a second to compose my thoughts in a manner in which she would understand. My response was this: "I feel complete while kneeling at my Master's boot. Knowing that I am His property, for Him to love, use, and protect, is beyond fulfilling for me. It's more than a sexual fantasy, being owned. To me it means that I belong to someone, that one person has total control of my thoughts, my heart, and my actions. Of course, sexually it is very gratifying being whipped, or being told when to cum, being chocked while His cock shoved down my throat. Knowing that I am doing everything in my power to please my Master, whether it being, cooking, cleaning, being a friend, or whatever he wants sexually is my purpose in this life. Wearing a collar or my skin bearing His name or mark, is an honor. I am human after all, and I have my girly emotional moments, and there are times when my head betrays my heart and I disappoint Him. During these moments, when my Master corrects my behavior and shows me how to properly react to certain situations, is a great learning experience not only for what my Master expects, but it teaches me more about myself as well. One of the best parts of being an owned girl, is when I have done something to please my Master and he says "Good girl, mine". My heart melts on hearing those words and only makes me strive to become an even better slave." My sister was quiet for a moment, then she responded with, "I can completely see your point, it really is an act of love. I don't think I could love that fully. Give someone all of me and trust them enough to know what's best for me, even if I don't know the answer myself. I have so much more respect for you, baby girl." I cried hearing her words, because that is exactly how I feel. To give someone ownership of every part of you, is the greatest act of love.”
By ke’mara my sister in bonds.
http://kemarasmusings.blogspot.com/
This entry was read by her Master, when I showed it from my sisters blog. I was proud of her answer, and wanted to brag to him how she felt about serving. I think this is how every girl who serves feels. So after that was read, her Master asked me the following same questions to which my sister mara answered already. Down below is my own response.
Why do you like serving a Master?
When it comes to serving a Master, it becomes more emotional, mental for me. I suppose in the medical world of psychology my desires would be seen as abnormal, or Stockholm syndrome type. They could say that it is because I have issues related to my real father, which is why I seek to be pleasing to a man so much. Truth is, all of these could be true, but it wouldn’t matter to me. I have never been one to follow society’s standards on what should, and should not be. I have always marched to the beat of my own drum.
So in a sense, I guess you can say it was my upbringing. I was never permitted a childhood, (but am not seeking pity or anything, this isn’t a poor me cry). I was left to raise my siblings, while my father was never around, and my mother was in a deep depression. So, I had to grow up much faster than most people. I have also sought out that approval, of making people happy.
I even noticed, when I look back at past relationships, I catered to my boyfriends without realizing it. One boyfriend would just snap his fingers, and I would jump to whatever he wanted. Another relationship, my boyfriend would give me direct orders on how to prepare a meal for him, and then mock me afterwards for doing it, when he said it wouldn’t have mattered how I cooked it.
So, after I began to learn about alternative lifestyles, I knew that is was where I belonged. I felt a sense of peace, and I finally didn’t feel like an outsider. As I dived in head first, I found a Dom who introduced me to BDSM mainly D/s. At first it was hard to get around what I was taught by my mother, which was never to rely on a man to take care of me, and always remain independent.
This however, did not go along with how I felt. When I began learning I knew I had to be Mastered. What started out as silly games online to me, soon began to mold me. My ways of thinking changed, my desires grew, and my dreams were all around seeking this real life gratification of serving a Master. I no longer feel myself without serving, in fact without a Master to serve, I am not complete. I am but an empty shell that wanders aimlessly.
I need a Master in my life, not for selfish reasons, but because I know that he can give me that complete wholeness I seek, whilst I give him the service he seeks. It is a mutual understanding, and something I desire above anything else in my life.
What could you possibly get from it?
What do I not get from it, should be the real question. Sure the kinks in the lifestyles are amazing, to no extent the orgasms are ten times more greater than any vanilla relationship I have ever had. Believe it or not, I cant have vanilla sex anymore. I don’t reach orgasm. However, the lifestyle is NOT evolved around sex. It is again a sense of wholeness for me. What I get from serving a Master, is love, desire, trust, guidance, and the emotions that come from it are overwhelming. So much so, it is almost too hard too explain. It is like always being on cloud nine. Perhaps I get the same high, as people who do heroine? Just mine is more of a mental status from servitude, then drugs.
There are downsides to it, the depression that follows when my Master is not around, or when I can not serve. Though to me, I think about love. Who doesn’t get depressed when they cant be around the ones they love? So in a way, I know there is no such thing as normal, but to me, when I am on my knees, naked, in my Master’s collared, I feel I am the most beautiful woman in the world, completely whole, unguarded, vulnerable, but loved and safe. I am me, and all of me is given to my Master, and he accepts me for my faults, and still loves me anyways.
Why would I want anything else?
No comments:
Post a Comment