I was rather interested in a topic I heard about, regarding orders, and standing orders. Basically the difference is, an Order is one that you have been given that you must keep at all times. A standing order is one given on the spot, like fetching a drink, etc etc. So, I was lucky to find this information via a blog of a friend of mine. She does amazing discussions on skype, SL, fetlife etc…So please don’t steal her work, and if you desire to use it, please give her the credit.
Every dominant wants perfectly obedient servants. Right? … Wrong! To be honest, what I have found is that the dominants worth their salt want obedience plus some. They also want service, and preferably good service at that!
It's common knowledge that most dominants don't take well to SAMs (Smart Ass Masochists), and that even fewer enjoy absolute or blind obedience - they could just go to their local WalMart and buy a doormat if that's what they wanted after all. So what's the difference between obedience and service, and which one should be taking precedence?
This usually becomes something to think about when the dominant has issued any standing orders. Now, standing orders like 'Always have something available for me to drink' or 'Have my clothing ready for me each morning' don't usually cause any issues. It's when there is a standing order regarding health issues for either of them that things start to get messy. And boy, can they get messy quick.
Let's look at a scenario using the incredibly common standing order of 'The servant is supposed to tell the dominant if there is a physical or mental problem that needs to be addressed.' After all, the servant's mind and body no longer belong to them; they belong to the dominant. Many dominants I know refer to this as 'If I break my toys, I can't play with them again.' Hmmmm ... and let's use the immediate order of 'Please me sexually' for this little adventure of ours. Another common order, and a simple enough task, right? Perhaps not as simple as one might think.
The dominant is quickly approaching the cusp – ready to take that always sought wondrous flight off of the cliff – when the servant encounters an immediate and severe emotional trauma flashback, asthma attack, physical injury flare-up, or any of the other countless and nasty problems possible. The servant doesn't want to be found displeasing (and don't tell me that having to stop right then, right there isn't going to make the dominant upset in some form or another here folks), but is snagged neatly in a catch twenty-two.
So, what is the servant to do? Ignore the standing order and try to push through whatever massive issue it is that just cropped up like Jack's beanstalk on steroids? That's going to earn displeasure for damaging the dominant's property. How about stop trying to complete the immediate order, back away, explain what happened and beg forgiveness? The dominant is going to be how forgiving when just denied an orgasm? Yeah, thought so. It's even better if the servant has to not only stop their activities, but walk away without a single word to get and use their inhaler so they can breathe enough to explain what happened.
No matter what, an order is going to be disobeyed. It's simply unavoidable.
Enter service.
Sticking with the severe asthma attack as our example, if the servant doesn't do something about their inability to breathe (breathing being addictive and all), they aren't going to be able to perform the 'Please me sexually' order ever again. Okay, so maybe I'm being somewhat morbid or over exaggerating a teeny-tiny bit, but the fact is that the servant is going to at least need immediate and proper attention or there is going to be a hospital trip in the very near future. I think any reasonable person can see here that the servant should bloody well stop fooling around in the bed and find that inhaler (and the orgasm denied dominant is usually reasonable in a minute or two - honest!). So one aspect of good service can be defined as correctly choosing which order to follow if two or more orders come into conflict with each other.
The same goes with a standing order for the servant to take care of a dominant's health. For example, the dominant is allergic to something, let's say shellfish. People never seem to be allergic to shellfish lightly; it's always a serious allergy for some reason that's beyond me. Not to mention that we seem to be allergic to the things we love the most. At any rate, the pair is out at a gathering one evening and the dominant, who really loves shrimp, issues the immediate order of 'Get me some shrimp cocktail from the buffet.' Should the servant obey the immediate order or should they obey the standing order. Mind you, obeying the standing order is going to make the both of them look really bad; it's going to appear to all the other people present that the servant is being blatantly impudent and disobedient. Not good in a big way since reputation and appearances are the coinage most often paid and spent in the BDSM community.
To obey or not to obey? Sometimes the correct answer is 'Both.' Using thought and wisdom allows a servant to advance from simple, blind obedience to intelligent, beautiful service. I don't know about you folks, but I would far prefer to see a servant achieving the latter.
I thank you for your time in reading, and I hope that this has proven to be helpful and pleasing. As always, if you have any questions or comments, please feel free to e-mail me at kiongakyu@gmail.com.
In Pride and Service,
Seikiji Heiwatori no Kiongakyu
Onna; Ichizoku Seikiji
So overall, as a submissive you’re going to break some rule. However, it is always easier to beg forgiveness, and lets just think, it is easier to beg forgiveness of a rule that is a standing rule, rather then one you have known for a long time….
<3
Ke’vana
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